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The Allusionist

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A PODCAST ABOUT LANGUAGE
BY HELEN ZALTZMAN

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The Allusionist

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Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025

January 16, 2026 The Allusionist
A boggle grid spelling out the words Bonus 2025

MP3 • APPLE PODCASTS • RSS • GOOGLE • POCKETCASTS • TRANSCRIPT

It's the annual parade of bonus bits! Every year, the show's guests say too many interesting things and/or stuff that isn't languagey enough, so I save it up and release it in a delightful melange of facts and thoughts, about language and also not about language. That melange is today, and it includes dinosaur mouths and dinosaur poop, psychedelic plants, feminist cookbooks, and taking a class in profanity.

Content note: there are category A swears in this episode.

(And yes I know 2025 is over, but I had to delay this for a month while enjoying a nasty bout of laryngitis, AKA Podcaster's Plague.)

You hear, in order of appearance:

  • Alex Ketchum, academic and author of books including How to Organize Inclusive Events and Conferences, Queers At The Table: An Illustrated Guide to Queer Food (With Recipes) and Ingredients for Revolution, a History of American Feminist Restaurants, Cafes, and Coffeehouses. She also organises the Queer Food Conference, next happening 1-3 May 2026. Alex previously appeared in the episode Bread and Roses, and Coffee.

  • Martin Austwick, musician and podcaster with Neutrino Watch, Song By Song and Answer Me This. Find his songs at PaleBirdMusic.com and Bandcamp but not Spotify. Martin has previously appeared in several Allusionists, but the one where we were talking about poisonous plants was Bane Bain Bath.

  • So Mayer, bookseller at Burley Fisher Books, editor of books including The Word for World: The Maps of Ursula K Le Guin, and author of books including Bad Language. They appeared on the Allusionist episode Disobedience.

  • Hannah McGregor, professor, podcaster and author of books including Clever Girl: Jurassic Park. They have been on the show a few times, but most recently and saliently in the episode Dino.

  • Kelly Elizabeth Wright, linguist — she recently had a paper published in the journal Cognition — and Data Czar with the American Dialect Society, which just concluded their 2025 Word of the Year process so check out the results. She appeared on the episode Serving C-Bomb.

  • Nicole Holliday, linguist and an excellent follow on BlueSky and TikTok @mixedlinguist. She also featured in Serving C-Bomb.

This weekend is the annual Birthdaylusionist livestream.

Join me and the aforementioned Martin Austwick for an hour of chat and relaxing readings from my ever-expanding collection of vintage reference books. Here’s the YouTube link. Kick-off is 24 January 1pm PT/4pm ET/9pm UTC&UK/check your timezone here.

For more regular livestreams, become a member of the Allusioverse at theallusionist.org/donate from $2/month — and you’re thereby helping fund this independent podcast (thank you!). Plus you get additional written content including behind-the-scenes info about every episode, and membership of the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where we hang out and keep each other company, and we're also watching the current season of Great Pottery Throwdown together.

You can also sign up at patreon.com/allusionist for a free account to get occasional email updates about Allusionist stuff eg live events and the birthdaylusionist livestream.

YOUR RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY:
glaucous
, adjective, technical or poetic/literary:
1. of a dull greyish-green or blue colour.
2 covered with a powdery bloom like that on grapes.
Origin 17th century: via Latin from Greek glaukos + -ous.

the dictionary entry for glaucous, adjective, technical or poetic/literary: 1. of a dull greyish-green or blue colour. 2 covered with a powdery bloom like that on grapes.  Origin 17th century: via Latin from Greek glaukos + -ous.

CREDITS:

  • This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations.

  • The original Allusionist music is by Martin Austwick. Download his songs at palebirdmusic.com and listen to his podcasts Song By Song and Neutrino Watch. And together we are on the recently revived long-running podcast Answer Me This.

  • Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… Essentially: if I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. 

Back in early February with a new episode - HZ.

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

In episodes Tags history, etymology, Alex Ketchum, Martin Austwick, So Mayer, Hannah McGregor, Kelly Elizabeth Wright, Nicole Holliday, feminism, feminists, cookbooks, cookery, food, cooking, recipes, Bloodroot, cake, psychoactive, drugs, poison, plants, hens, wave, witches, fear, shame, mistakes, WOTY, Word of the Year, American Dialect Society, enshittification, rawdog, mouths, Monstrous Feminine, cunt, cunty, serving cunt, Jurassic Park, dinosaurs, Laura Dern, poop, Jeff Goldblum, research, Ian Malcolm, academia, films, movies, profanity, linguistics, minced oaths, swearing, swears, bullshit, ASL, sign language, gesture, bonus, bonus bits, glaucous

Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol

December 7, 2025 The Allusionist

Today, we read the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, also known as the 1843 festive lit hit A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

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In episodes Tags arts, language, books, Charles Dickens, literature, A Christmas Carol, Christmas, festive, ghosts, wealth, morality, fables, uropygium, Martin Austwick

Allusionist 216. Four Letter Words: Terisk

September 8, 2025 The Allusionist
A Boggle set spelling out the word 'terisk' which isn't a real word

Watching the film Legally Blonde one day with the subtitles on, numerous perfectly innocuous words were partially asterisked out, because of a technological problem I can't name here lest this episode be blocked from search results, thus becoming an example of the problem itself.

Who's to blame? A 900-year-old man from Lincolnshire. Although he didn't ask for this either.

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In episodes, Four Letter Words Tags etymology, lexicon, society, culture, words, language, history, vocabulary, four letter words, England, Old English, Domesday Book, Doomsday Book, census, Skuma, land, Lincolnshire, towns, town names, place names, Martin Austwick, asterisks, subtitles, programming, errors, blocklist, swears, obscenity, AOL, Dominic Cummings, technology, internet, online, cunt, C word, swearing, block, Plymouth, Clitheroe, Penistone, Lightwater, Horniman Museum, Scunthorpe Problem, Clbuttic Problem, euphemisms, Legally Blonde, Elle Woods, Reese Witherspoon, payment, rent, eels, king, royals, prosthetic E, Normans, bottoms, donkeys, plays, mores, arse, ass, hachures, Scunthorpe

Allusionist 214. Four Letter Words: Bane Bain Bath

August 13, 2025 The Allusionist

For today’s instalment of Four Letter Word season, we’re hopping from ‘bane’ to ‘bain’ to ‘bath’, via poison gardens, doll’s eyes, alchemists, placentas and waterborne curses.

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In episodes, Four Letter Words Tags etymology, lexicon, society, culture, words, language, history, vocabulary, four letter words, Martin Austwick, Batman, Bath, Somerset, baths, Ancient Rome, Roman Empire, ancient Britain, Celts, Celtic, sacred spring, curse tablets, curses, cursing, deities, gods, water, plants, poison, Ancient Egypt, Egyptian, Cato, recipes, cakes, hollandaise sauce, cooking, cookery, food, medicine, alchemy, wolfsbane, woke, doll’s eyes, leopards, expressions, butterflies, mariposa, marigold, flowers, enemies, dung, grievances, UNESCO, heritage, lead, ancient history, theft, punishment, autobahn, bain marie, bane, manticore, placenta

Allusionist: Apple Fest!

October 22, 2023 The Allusionist

All aboard, we're off to the 2023 Apple Festival at the University of British Columbia, to taste some apples and, most importantly, enjoy some apple names. And before that, we return to the classic Sporklusionist applesode to refresh our memory about how apple names are chosen - eponyms, portmanteaus, geography, or corporate R&D, just like how our ancestors named apples.

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In episodes Tags vocabulary, words, language, Sporklusionist, Sporkful, Dan Pashman, apples, Cosmic Crisp, apple names, history, apple history, fruit, trees, fruit trees, cultivars, varietals, cultivation, Washington, WA, WSU, Washington State University, Kathryn Grandy, Kate Evans, Joanna Crosby, pomology, pomologists, Bloody Ploughman, pippin, Victorians, Britain, National Apple Congress, names, eponyms, applenyms, cappletalism, euphemisms, congress, swears, bloody, risque, Honeycrisp, Enterprise, The Jetsons, marketing, Jazz apple, jazz, trademarks, Golden Delicious, Red Delicious, Snapdragon, Strawberry apple, Jonathan apple, Granny Smith, food, Cats Head, Casthead, Court Pendu Plat, Medlar, Orleans Reinette, France, French, food history, Bramley, pome fruit, breeding, fruit breeding, plants, Victorian Britain, brands, branding, brand names, products, product names, focus groups, consumer testing, accessions, fruiterers, Scorpion apple, British Columbia, BC, UBC, festivals, events, Apple Festival, kenning, McIntosh, Grimes Golden, Oaken Pin, Hannah McGregor, Martin Austwick, Canada, Canadian, Apple Macintosh

Allusionist 178. Uranus

June 22, 2023 The Allusionist

Have you ever wondered why the planets in our solar system are all named after Roman deities, except two of them? One of those exceptions is Earth. The other is Uranus.

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In episodes Tags history, words, language, etymology, space, planets, Uranus, solar system, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Caelus, Pluto, Earth, astronomy, astronomers, Johann Bode, William Herschel, Georgian, George III, King George III, Nevil Maskelyne, galaxy, space words, Latin, Ancient Greek, deities, gods, goddesses, Gaia, Cronus, Titans, Furies, Hecatoncheires, Cyclopses, Giants, Nymphs, Ourania Aphrodite, sky, rain, rainmaker, Sanskrit, urine, myths, legends, songs, music, names, naming, International Astronomical Union, orbit, comet, apport, Martin Austwick

Allusionist 169. The Box

January 27, 2023 The Allusionist

Erwin Schrödinger is one of the "fathers of quantum mechanics". He also sexually abused children. Trinity College Dublin recently denamed a lecture theatre that had been named after him - but his name is still on an equation that won the Nobel Prize for physics. And a cat.

Writer and historian Subhadra Das recounts how and why you rename a university building, and retired physicist Martin Austwick considers that renaming an eponymous equation or theory might be more difficult than unscrewing a sign from a wall.

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In episodes, Telling Other Stories Tags words, language, linguistics, education, society & culture, arts, literature, lexicon, vocabulary, telling other stories, renaming, names, eponyms, problematic, science eponyms, science, scientific, Subhadra Das, Martin Austwick, Trinity College Dublin, TCD, University College London, UCL, Dublin, London, university, college, buildings, honours, honors, eugenics, racism, Erwin Schrödinger, Karl Pearson, Francis Galton, Schrödinger’s cat, Schrödinger’s equation, theories, quantum mechanics, physics, genetics, moon, Nobel Prize, light, waves, quantum, quantum wave function, Louis de Broglie, Arthur Lunn, Albert Einstein, theory of relativity, many worlds theory, Hugh Everett, Mark Everett, Eels, museums, Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, Heisenberg, quadrivium

Allusionist 121. No Title

September 14, 2020 The Allusionist
The Allusionist No Title poster colours.jpg

In 2014, a seemingly trivial and boring incident at the bank propelled me down a linguistic road via medieval werewolves, Ms Marvel and confusingly inscribed gravestones, to find out why the English language is riddled with all this gender. What’s it FOR? How did it GET there? Will it go AWAY now please? It is, at the very least, taking up brainspace and not paying any rent.

This is a recording of a live performance at the Blueberry Hill Duck Room in St Louis, Missouri on 23 November 2019, and there were visuals happening, so I’ll drop in sometimes to explain them, and I’ve also put a transcript and pictures in this post.

There are swears in this. There are also arguments that will be very useful to you if you ever come up against a denier of singular they. You will definitely win.

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In live recording, episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, etymology, lexicon, vocabulary, live show, live recording, performance, No Title, gender, sex, identity, pronouns, titles, singular they, they, non-conforming, fluid, rank, hierarchy, marriage, social status, status, aristocracy, doctor, doctorate, Latin, Ms, Mrs, Master, Mister, Mr, Dr, Mx, ip, gender neutral, gender free, gender neutral pronouns, gender free pronouns, Ms Magazine, Ms Marvel, Sheila Michaels, feminism, feminists, tombstones, graves, gravestones, Downton Abbey, William and the Werewolf, medieval, Italian, Italy, signora, signorina, Frau, Fräulein, mademoiselle, madame, Académie Française, Mondamoiseau, Z, Mre, Russian, Russia, manners, politeness, etiquette, seamtress, seamster, manhole, you, ey, Martin Austwick

Allusionist 89. WPM

November 16, 2018 The Allusionist
A89 WPM logo.jpg

This is a story of feats of speed and endurance, of record-breakers, of champions… Typing champions.

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In live recording, episodes Tags Allusionist Live, live performance, kalpa, words, language, linguistics, education, comedy, entertainment, society & culture, arts, literature, Helen Zaltzman, Allusionist live, live recording, keyboards, typewriters, computers, typing, typists, typing speed, speed typing, WPM, words per minute, Martin Austwick, Guinness World Records, record breakers, champions, typing competitions, competitive typing, competitions, Birdie Reeve, vaudeville, Rose Fritz, Marcellus Wiley, NFL, football, Dvorak Simplified Keyboard, QWERTY, Madison Square Garden, Columbo, cellphones, mobile phones, Spy, spies, reality TV, loggers, logging, TV, jobs, work, back sack and crack waxes, August Dvorak

Allusionist 37: Brand It

May 29, 2016 The Allusionist

Got a company or a product or a website you need to name? Well, be wary of the potential pitfalls: trademark disputes; pronounceability; being mistaken for a dead body...

Name developer Nancy Friedman explains how she helps companies find the right names, and why so many currently end in '-ify'.

Plus: The Allusionist's origin story, with Radiotopiskipper Roman Mars.

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In episodes Tags words, language, linguistics, brands, branding, names, naming, brand names, products, product names, companies, company, corporate, name, Nancy Friedman, Roman Mars, podcast names, podcasts, podcasting, trends, trending, startups, businesses, business, Silicon Valley, internet, technology, online, websites, domains, Twitter, Tumblr, Flickr, Spotify, The Allusionist, Semantic Drift, Idiomatic, Amazon, retain, vowels, consonants, devowellution, disemvowelment, anchors, theme tune, music, Martin Austwick, Extreme, More Than Words, puns, Boyzone, verbs, suffixes, 99% Invisible, name development, name developers, Andrew Marvell, Fallen London, The Great Courses Plus
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Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs
Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a series of words to relax your mind, replace a hectic interior monologue, maybe lull you to sleep, hopefully quell the mental uproar just for a little while.

Today: nicknames for woodlice AKA rolypoly bugs AKA slaters AKA all these other things; and a list of cheeses from Great Britain and Ireland.

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78AF926C-7878-4567-A87F-13CFF415B647_1_105_c.jpeg
sorry lads, we're getting bad ads

TL;DR version:

  • For the show's financial survival (hopefully), over the next few weeks I'm having to switch on programmatic advertisements. This means, for the first time in the show's nearly 12-year existence, you may be subjected to ads that are not voiced, scripted and individually approved by me.

  • If you would prefer to listen to the show without ads in it, patreonise the show at the Gravy, Wedge or Check tiers, which include the perk of an ad-free RSS feed.

Click through to read the rest of the post about why I’m doing this thing I don’t want to do.

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Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist
Allusionist 231. Lingthusionist

“Linguistics and language is such a good mechanism for being curious,” says Lauren Gawne, linguistics prof, author of the book Gesture, and cohost of the podcast Lingthusiasm. I'm in vacation mode (although not on actual vacation alas), so today's episode is a fun chat with our nice pal about making language podcasts, the firey digestive punishments for linguistics researchers, working in reality television, and cute tame nouns versus scary intimidating verbs.

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Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation
Allusionist 230. Draculae part 4: Transformation

Throughout the Draculae miniseries, about the Swedish and Icelandic translations of Dracula that played fast and loose with the original text, I've been wondering a couple of questions: why are cover versions of songs and remakes of films so normal and acceptable, whereas cover versions in book form cause such a stir? And do these Scandinavian Draculae count as fan fiction? And if not, why not? Fansplaining.com's Elizabeth Minkel explains what fan fiction can mean.

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Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count
Allusionist 229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count

Many mysteries accompany the revelations that Powers of Darkness, the Icelandic and Swedish versions of Dracula, are not direct translations of Bram Stoker's original, but stories that significantly differ in character names, plot and runtime. Like: did Bram Stoker write it himself, to publish some raunchy content that British censors would forbid? Was Powers of Darkness based on his early drafts? And did he really not copyright Dracula in the USA was that a deliberate ruse? Welllll... brace yourself for ole thrill-destroyer Zaltzman to pop your balloons of excitement.

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queer playlist
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Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults
Allusionist 228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults

Happy World Dracula Day to all who celebrate!

This is the second episode of the Draculae miniseries, about a literary mystery which came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.”

In Draculae part 2, Ásgeir Jónsson explains how he got that Icelandic adaptation of Dracula back into print, to little fanfare - but then Dutch scholar Hans Corneel de Roos set about making an English translation. Following that: like me, Will Trimble also got meme-struck, and that propelled him to get a translation of the Swedish version that begat the Icelandic one.

Before listening to this, check out the first episode of the Draculae miniseries explaining the three versions of Dracula: Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900.

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Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle
Allusionist 227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle

A literary mystery came to me via a meme.

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Allusionist 226. Suburbia
Allusionist 226. Suburbia

"The word ‘suburbia’ sort of evokes a very fixed idea of a place that is identikit, that all suburbs are the same, that within the suburb everything is the same, that all people are the same, all experiences are the same," says social historian and author John Grindrod. "I think it has this kind of flattening-out facility, that word, that isn't true."

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Allusionist 225. Hues
Allusionist 225. Hues

You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it.

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Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball
Allusionist 224. Cosmic Hairball

Pack your oxygen tank, we're going up to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there.

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Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
Allusionist 223. Bonus 2025
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Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol
Allusionist 222. A Christmas Carol

Today, we read the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, also known as the 1843 festive lit hit A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

Read more →
Allusionist 221. Scribe
Allusionist 221. Scribe

"I have never felt so naked. That's how exposed I felt at the idea that my handwriting was going to be seen by the world," says Tim Brookes, founder of the Endangered Alphabets Project and author of the new book about handwriting By Hand: Can the Art of Writing Be Saved? Writing the book (yes, by hand!) celebrates the act of handwriting, even overcoming the shame arising from his own.

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Allusionist 220. Disobedience
Allusionist 220. Disobedience

“The more we look into social structures, the more many of us realize we don't fit into them," says So Mayer, author of the new book Bad Language, "So each phrase or set of vocabulary is another piece of that dismantlement.” We discuss finding vocabulary for oneself, coming out as a speech act, growing up under Section 28, busting through oppression and shame, and joyous listening.

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The Allusionist by Helen Zaltzman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.